It's raining again! What a productive week!:)

I've just gotten over being under the weather this week but feeling better so Cindy and I went out ate some yummy pizza and are now sipping on some hot coffee here at Borders. Matt's with the kids playing Wii and managing small little demands. I am grateful for the time alone. There is a whole week coming up with my lovely ducklings. I need a little time to decompress.

So here I am "decompressing". I've been thinking a lot about why I am suddenly interested in blogging? I never have been one that would do something like this. I am more of a private person than some may suspect. I am glad I never made it to that big "Hollywood movie star in the sky"(right?) The attention would have killed me. :)

I do have reluctance when it comes to sharing my life like an open book. I don't feel the need to share as much as I feel a need to hear my own voice. To check in with myself and hear what is going on inside. So with that said, I believe I decided to start a blog to hear my SELF and what she is up to. To find that stillness that sits inside the chaos of my life.

Having a family and the responsibility of three little ones, with all their own individual needs I have found that I couldn't hear myself. I would have days that I would be knocking at the door and begging to come out and I just push her aside-- ignoring her. She got pissed. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to let her out. This lady, this one who is me.

My voice.

I can't guarantee that it will be of interest to any one--reading what I am up to--how the world is touching me-- at least my voice is out in the world willing to touch the ears of anyone who whats to listen.

Honestly, being a "stay-at -home" mom allowed me to ignore her more. I always have something else to do but listen to her. It certainly easier to not answer when she is knocking. But she fights. She is strong and not willing to walk away so easily and hide underneath my skin. She claws and she wiggles and yells at the top of her lungs......LET ME OUT! Kicking and rattling my bones. So I have to do this. I have to blog, I have to write, I have to paint and sketch, and dance and take pictures of the world I see ---Or she will kill me.